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determined

The other day, I was flipping through some old journals and I came across this, dated March 24, 1994: "I am determined to see Jesus." I was seven years old, not yet saved, and a stubborn brat. I was "determined" to do a lot of things: eat as much sugar (candy, cookies, whatever!) as I could snitch in any given day; do as little school as I could get away with; spend every spare minute (and quite a few that weren't spare) either reading or playing outside; drive my sister crazy by imitating everything she did, said, and wore; boss my little brothers around to get my way; get dirtier than my mother ever dreamed was possible by playing in the mud; keep everyone outside my family convinced that I was a sweet, perfect little angel... etc, etc! OK, so maybe I didn't do all of those things on purpose, but hey--it is who I was! Yet somehow, God was already working in my sinful little heart to draw me to Himself. How amazing is that?! And in the midst of my little girl world, I simply knew that I wanted to see Him. I wanted to know Him. I was determined to see Him!

I've outgrown (by the grace of God!) a lot of those little girlish kinds of things. I'm older, more mature, and hopefully more like Jesus. But one thing I've never outgrown (also by the grace of God!) is that determination to see Jesus. I'm still determined to see Him. I still live to know Him. Whatever it takes, whatever the cost may be, I am going to seek my Jesus. Through every fall--every time I compromise--every time I yield to a temptation--every time I'm too distracted or too busy or too tired or too whatever--He is still there, drawing me on. And I'm determined to keep running toward Him. I am going to see and know Jesus Christ! Who's with me?!
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