It's Love

Hello, people! :) So, a friend recently mentioned my blog and I had an "oh, yeah" moment--like, "oh, yeah, I have one of those!" Then I got on to see when I'd last posted and realized it was a little over a year and a half ago. Wow, sorry, y'all!!

I'm working on learning to be more intentional with life, not letting my time and energy be so much controlled by "the tyranny of the urgent". I'm still definitely a work in progress!! But one of the things on my "live life on purpose" list is blogging, so I'll try to be more consistent with this!

For tonight, I'm just going to post something I wrote a while back. I've been, in various ways, a part of House of Faith for nearly 3 years now, but it feels somehow like I've always been there. :) One of my favorite things about HOF is the opportunity to be involved in TWO of the Backyard Bible Clubs, where we take Jesus into the yards of the elementary schools and the lives of the K-5th grade students who attend them. Every Wednesday and Thursday afternoon finds me out in a yard, checking in over a hundred children and then loving them however I can. Sometimes, it's crazy and challenging, but I love it!! :) Goliad, my Wednesday club, has been especially challenging this year on a number of levels, and I have been stretched and grown tremendously through it.

Our weekly programs that we have during the school year are over for this year, but this little reflection is something I wrote one Wednesday evening as I thought back over my day at Goliad BBC and the 150+ kids who are there that hold my heart...

I’m surrounded by noise and chaos when I see it. Kids are running wild, shouting, laughing, arguing—a fight is about to break out across the yard, a few kids nearby are building with marble works and chatting happily, a crowd of children runs up and surrounds me; some just to say hi, most with a breaking crisis to report. So-and-so called such-and-such this or that, where's Marci, this little one needs to go to the bathroom, where's Marci, I can’t find my backpack, where's Marci, can I have a drink of water, where’s Marci, that kid hit me…the list goes on. It’s easy, sometimes, to lose sight of why I’m even here.

But then—through the noise and the chaos, I see it. I see it in the big trusting eyes turned toward me like I can somehow "fix it", the smiles or concern on the faces in the little circle around me, and in a child’s face when I call them by name and they realize: they matter to someone. I hear it in the chatter of little voices who can’t wait to tell me about the silver teeth they’re getting next week, or their dog that took on a Rottweiler and won, or something that happened at school. I feel it in the arms wrapped around my waist, the little hand holding on to mine and the constant need to be near me, touching me. And it’s there in the older kids who come looking for me to give me a hug and say hello, almost like they’re just checking to make sure I still care about them, too. It's in every high-five, every hello, every hug, every hard-earned ounce of respect.

I see it. I hear it. I feel it. Why am I here? It’s simple, really: love. Because I love them because Jesus loves me, and He loves them, even more than I do; which is a lot!

So week after week I come back to the chaos. I answer the questions, I break up the fights, I listen to the stories, I hug them like crazy, I take them to the bathroom, I point out Marci at least a hundred times, I pick up trash, I deal with the issues, I point them to Jesus and every now and then I even get to teach a Bible lesson. ;) 

And in the moments of frustration when I wonder why I’m here, Jesus always finds a way to remind me: it’s love.