Skip to main content

It's Me Again

Happy Thanksgiving!! 
Or, day after Thanksgiving, anyway. I hope you all had a wonderful, blessed day yesterday, whatever your celebrations may have looked like!! 

Today's post is simply an unedited prayer that I wrote as a poem in March of 2018 and recently re-discovered when I was clearing out the notes on my phone. Since it fits so perfectly with what I've been talking about, I thought I'd give you a glimpse into the raw emotion that I often feel is best expressed with a little rhythm and rhyme. Enjoy! 

Hello, Lord, it's me again, 
Back in this old place again 
Where it feels like all my dreams have come to die. 

The life that I thought I would live, 
With a godly husband and lots of kids, 
Seems more and more impossible every day. 

I want to be held in strong, gentle arms, 
Be loved by a man who will shield me from harm, 
Someone to snuggle besides just a teddy bear. 

I want someone to walk through life with, 
To laugh and cry and fight with, 
Not perfection but who is chasing after You. 

I want mud pies, hugs and kisses, 
Little men and little misses, 
To fill my life with chaos, tears and joy. 

I know it's the hardest job on earth, 
To raise little people from the day of birth, 
But it's the one I've always wanted most of all. 

I know I am not incomplete, 
That You fulfill my every need, 
That a family of my own is not the answer. 

But somehow, I just miss them so, 
These people I don't even know, 
Who have a place already in my heart. 

And sometimes I get mad at You, 
'Cause I don't like the way You move, 
But in the end I know You're only good. 

You know every ache and every longing, 
The deep desire for belonging, 
All my struggles and my failures, You have seen. 

You don't forget, and still You see 
And You even love little old me, 
And Lord--I love and want You more than all of this.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sex & "the good Christian single"

 Yep. Buckle up, we're going there. This post might get a little uncomfortable, but it's a topic that can't exactly be ignored! And, as I said at the beginning of this little "series" earlier this year, "my goal is to be uncomfortably honest, vulnerable, real, raw." Besides, the world is talking about sex all the time , and if we as Jesus-followers don't talk about it from a Jesus-perspective, the world is going to shape the views and opinions of sex for an entire generation. Or two. Or more.  Let's start with some basic statements just for the sake of clarity: 1. Sex is God's idea, and it is good.  All through the Bible, from Adam & Eve being "naked & unashamed" in the garden of Eden (Genesis 2), to the graphic love poetry of Song of Solomon, to Paul exhorting husbands and wives to freely share their bodies with one another in 1 Corinthians 7, the Bible paints a picture of sex within marriage being good, beautiful, encourag...
Post a Comment
Read more

Six Flags!

Some would no doubt consider it a strange "Sabbath kick-off", but for me a trip to Six Flags Over Texas (in Arlington) was just the ticket! Between my love of roller coasters, the nostalgia this place holds, and the healthy benefits of fresh air and sunshine, it was fantastic. Oh, and the company was pretty great, too. The only thing that could have made it better would have been to have my "OG Six Flags fam" along--aka, my family and the Vests, of course! Six Flags has always been about facing and overcoming fear for me. I was a very fearful/timid child, and as an adult looking back I think one of the best things my parents did for my little anxious self was take me to ride roller coasters!! (I would insert the "tears of joy" emoji here if I could!) I was coaxed and cajoled on to rides I was hesitant about, but never forced to ride anything--though I waited in every line with them and I was not allowed to complain. Every year, there were rides where ...
Post a Comment
Read more

oh, look! it's a blog!

I really thought I was going to do better at blogging this month. Ha! I have a post in my drafts section that I started two weeks ago, but there it sits. It's going to require more time and thought to finish than I have at this moment, so it will have to wait. However, it IS going to get finished and posted at some point! :) Today, for most of the day it's just Jonathan and I here at home. Weird, huh? Daddy, Micah, and Josiah are at a men's retreat/camp-out with the church, and Momma had to work today. So, Jonathan and I are hanging out (read: cleaning house and putting the new sheets on the beds and icing cupcakes :) ). This evening, there is a "praise for pro-life" thing at a church here in Springtown that we're planning to go to. It's a fundraiser for a pregnancy center. (October 24, 6 pm, Outreach of Love church on Hwy 199 in Springtown, admission is a baby bottle full of change...just in case anyone wanted to know!) Tomorrow after church, we're ha...
Post a Comment
Read more